Only Now
by Prophetic Fire
Summary: "I'm sorry I wasn't a better wingman, An'ika." Still no response from Anomaly. "I'm here now." Still nothing. Aerie reached out gingerly and slipped her hand into Anomaly's. The flesh one, not the durasteel. The one that was still soft, still warm. The one that proved Anomaly was still alive.


AN: Aerie and Uyo are my own OCs. Anomaly, Killer, Mids & Gunner, and NJ all belong to other friends of mine.

* * *

If they'd been planetside, it would have been considered well into the night. As it was, traveling through hyperspace, time had little meaning. Even less meaning in the medbay, without windows even to mark the passage of space, let alone time. The deliberate quiet, broken only by the soft beeping of monitors, held the room in a kind of detached haze, suspended somewhere between here and there, before and after. In the medbay, there was only now.

Aerie sat on a stool next to Anomaly's bed. He was breathing on his own now, Uyo had said, but it would still be a while before he woke up. If he woke up. With the kind of head trauma he'd sustained and the lack of oxygen from his damaged air intakes, it was touch-and-go at this point. Those Seppie bastards would have hell to pay next time she met them in a dogfight. She'd blast every last one of them out of the sky.

"Hey _An'ika_ ," she finally said. Even hushed, her words sounded too loud in the muted space. "How're you doing?" She paused, as though Anomaly might actually respond. "Uyo tells me, you can maybe still hear me, so, I hope you're listening." She tried her best to smile, but it felt more like a grimace. "Guess this is my chance to finally have my way with you, huh?" The joke fell flat on her ears, especially since Anomaly didn't grin or wink back at her like normal. His face remained slack, his eyes closed. Not so much as a twitch. Aerie sighed.

"Mids and Gunner were already here to see you, _An'ika_ , and Killer's waiting for us at the rendezvous point. He's gonna help Uyo put you back together, okay? And NJ found out and he sends his love. And even a couple of those Null ARC guys got in touch, to see how you were doing. And Uyo says Commander Bly was here too. So there's a whole bunch of people wanting you to get better. So you hang in there, okay?"

Aerie gestured to the ice wrap peeking out from under her shirt. "I would've come sooner, but I got a little banged up too. Just a couple of ribs though. But Uyo says I can't dance for a while." She laughed a little, but winced. Anomaly still didn't stir.

"I'm sorry I'm the last person to come and see you," Aerie whispered. A lump was forming in her throat, and she tried to fight it down. It just seemed so… _wrong_ …to not see Anomaly casting a sly smile or playfully flirting or cheerfully making repairs to his starfighter, or even just staring off into space in contemplation. It was so wrong to see him lying here, unresponsive, with sensors stuck to his temples.

And she couldn't shake the feeling that it was her fault. _If only…_ kept repeating in her head. _If only I'd followed him into that swarm of vulture droids… If only I'd watched my back better and not taken that blaster hit… If only I hadn't distracted him by calling mayday… If only I'd come straight here instead of letting them bacta-inject my ribs…_

"I'm sorry I wasn't a better wingman, _An'ika."_

Still no response from Anomaly.

"I'm here now."

Still nothing.

Aerie reached out gingerly and slipped her hand into Anomaly's. The flesh one, not the durasteel. The one that was still soft, still warm. The one that proved Anomaly was still alive. She stroked her thumb lightly over his knuckles. "Look, I know I'm not the first person to care about you, and I won't be the last person to care about you. But I care about you. Right now, I care about you. You're my friend. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Aerie stopped to take in a breath, the lump in her throat growing larger.

"I love you, _An'ika._ You're my friend. Please come back."

Time stretched on, and yet it didn't, and Aerie sat there, gently clutching Anomaly's hand. _If only…_ her mind whispered at her, _If only… If only… If only…_ She drifted, lost in the turbulence of her thoughts, neither here nor there, somewhere in the before and the after. _If only… If only… If only…_

A slight pressure tugged at her thoughts, pulling her back to the present. Back to the now. There was only now in the medbay. And that now was the pressure. And the pressure was a touch. And the touch was her hand.

And Anomaly's hand, lightly squeezing back.

Aerie's voice caught on the lump in her throat as she called out for Uyo, and hot tears pressed at the corners of her eyes. But there was no way she would let go now. Not now.

There was only now.


End file.
